Motivating Kids
How do we motivate our kids? As a teacher and a parent, I know this can be hard at times. Ultimately, our goal is for our children to have intrinsic motivation - a motivation that comes from within a person. Intrinsic motivation does not involve external rewards. There is a time and place for external rewards, but it cannot be the only motivating factor if we want our children to be motivated from within to accomplish things.
Intrinsic Motivation
Let's look at some common denominators that help to develop intrinsic motivation.Effort
Kids are more likely to develop intrinsic motivation if they are praised for their effort rather than just their innate abilities. We need to recognize how hard they worked on something or how they did not give up even when it was hard. If we only tell a child how smart he or she is, then he or she will not be as motivated when something becomes difficult to accomplish.
Recognition
If we want our children to be motivated from within, it is important to point out when they have reached a goal and celebrate even small accomplishments. It means a lot when we get excited over the amount of books they have read or maybe we need to recognize when they are almost finished with what is left to do... whether that is finishing homework or doing the dishes. It feels good to be recognized and appreciated.
Setting goals will help children to reach for goals! I help my students to set goals each year. When my children were younger we would talk about what they wanted to accomplish for the year. This helps them to recognize what they are able to do when they set their mind to it.
Choices
Everyone likes to be involved in decisions that affect them or to have choices given to them. Children are no different. Allowing children to have some choices in what they do can help with motivation. We can allow children to help choose which chores they want to be responsible for or allow them to decide if they want to do homework the minute they get home or after having a break from school.
It's OK
No one is perfect. We all make mistakes. Having realistic expectations and showing children some grace is so important. Adults aren't always motivated and children won't be either. Let's remember that some days are harder than others... even for kids. What is important is that we learn from our mistakes.
Reinforcements
Some great ways to show praise is through giving high fives, hugs, or verbal recognition. Tangible rewards can be used, but they should not be the way we motivate kids. Going for ice cream or some other fun activity can be a great way to celebrate an accomplishment! However, we should not give children ice cream to complete something. If we do this, then a child may come to expect a treat for doing what is expected.
Look for the Positive
Let's always look for the positive in people instead of finding faults. This is so important with children. Think about how you feel when someone notices something positive you have done. Let's celebrate all the positives we can with children!
